You might not think of yourselves as legally bound together; there’s no wedding certificate, no official ceremony. But here’s something worth knowing: New Zealand law may already recognise your relationship as one where property rights apply.
If you’ve been living together, sharing your lives and building something together, the Property (Relationships) Act 1976 likely covers you. Understanding where you stand can help you make informed decisions about your future, whether you’re planning to stay together or considering separation.
When Does the Law Step In?
The straightforward answer? After three years of living together in a de facto relationship, the law presumes that what you’ve built together should be shared equally if you separate.
But what actually counts as a “de facto relationship”? It’s not just about how long you’ve been together or whether you share a house. The law looks at the reality of your relationship, how you’ve lived, what you’ve shared, and the life you’ve created together.
What Makes a Relationship “De Facto”?
The law defines a de facto relationship as two people, regardless of gender or sexual orientation, who are both over 18, live together as a couple, and aren’t married or in a civil union with each other.
That sounds clear enough. But real life is rarely that tidy. You might work in different cities. You might keep separate homes for practical reasons. That doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not in a de facto relationship.
When there’s a question about whether you’re in a qualifying relationship, the Court considers several factors. None of these factors alone will make or break the case, it’s about the overall picture of your relationship.
The Court looks at things like:
How long you’ve been together though remember, three years is the general threshold for equal sharing to kick in.
Your living arrangements – you can maintain separate homes and still be in a de facto relationship if the rest of your lives are intertwined.
Whether you have a sexual relationship – though this isn’t essential. Many couples in long-term committed relationships may not have an active sexual relationship, and that’s okay.
Your financial situation – do you support each other financially? Do you share expenses? Complete financial independence, particularly if you live apart, may suggest you’re not in a de facto relationship.
Property you’ve acquired together – buying a home together or other significant shared assets often indicates a de facto relationship.
Your commitment to a shared life – this is perhaps the most important factor. How do you see yourselves? Are you building a future together?
Children – whether you’re raising children together, whether or not they’re biologically both of yours.
How you share household responsibilities – who does what around the home, and how you’ve divided up daily life.
How you present yourselves to the world – what you tell family, friends, workmates. How you introduce each other. Whether you’re seen as a couple by those who know you.
The Court weighs all these factors together. What matters in your specific situation will depend on your unique circumstances.
What If We Haven’t Been Together Three Years?
Three years isn’t a magic line you can’t cross. In some situations, the Property (Relationships) Act applies even to shorter relationships.
This happens when you have a child together, or when one of you has made a substantial contribution to the relationship and when it would be seriously unjust not to recognise that contribution.
In these cases, property is divided based on what each person contributed, rather than equally down the middle.
How Can You Protect Your Interests?
If you’re in a de facto relationship, or thinking about moving in together, the clearest way to protect your property and define your rights is through a Contracting Out Agreement (sometimes called a “pre-nup,” though that term really applies to marriage).
These agreements, set out under Section 21 of the Act, let you and your partner decide for yourselves how you’ll handle property if you separate. They override the standard rules about equal sharing and contributions.
To be valid, each of you needs your own lawyer to provide independent advice. This protects both of you and ensures you each understand what you’re agreeing to.
What This Means for You
Knowing your legal position doesn’t mean you need to do anything differently. But it does mean you can make clearer decisions.
If you’re already in a relationship and didn’t realise these protections existed, you might feel reassured. If you’re moving in with someone and want to keep certain assets separate, now you know that’s an option worth exploring.
The point isn’t to assume the worst about your relationship. It’s about understanding your rights and making choices that work for both of you choices you make together, with clear eyes and good information.
If you have questions about your situation, or if you’d like to discuss a Contracting Out Agreement, we’re here to help you work through it. These conversations don’t need to be uncomfortable. We’ve guided many couples through exactly this process, and we can help you too.