If you’ve been living together, sharing your lives and building something together, the Property (Relationships) Act 1976 likely covers you. Understanding where you stand can help you make informed decisions about your future, whether you’re planning to stay together or considering separation.

When Does the Law Step In?

The straightforward answer? After three years of living together in a de facto relationship, the law presumes that what you’ve built together should be shared equally if you separate.

But what actually counts as a “de facto relationship”? It’s not just about how long you’ve been together or whether you share a house. The law looks at the reality of your relationship, how you’ve lived, what you’ve shared, and the life you’ve created together.

What Makes a Relationship “De Facto”?

The law defines a de facto relationship as two people, regardless of gender or sexual orientation, who are both over 18, live together as a couple, and aren’t married or in a civil union with each other.

That sounds clear enough. But real life is rarely that tidy. You might work in different cities. You might keep separate homes for practical reasons. That doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not in a de facto relationship.

When there’s a question about whether you’re in a qualifying relationship, the Court considers several factors. None of these factors alone will make or break the case, it’s about the overall picture of your relationship.

The Court looks at things like:

How long you’ve been together though remember, three years is the general threshold for equal sharing to kick in.

Your living arrangements – you can maintain separate homes and still be in a de facto relationship if the rest of your lives are intertwined.

Whether you have a sexual relationship – though this isn’t essential. Many couples in long-term committed relationships may not have an active sexual relationship, and that’s okay.

Your financial situation – do you support each other financially? Do you share expenses? Complete financial independence, particularly if you live apart, may suggest you’re not in a de facto relationship.

Property you’ve acquired together – buying a home together or other significant shared assets often indicates a de facto relationship.

Your commitment to a shared life – this is perhaps the most important factor. How do you see yourselves? Are you building a future together?

Children – whether you’re raising children together, whether or not they’re biologically both of yours.

How you share household responsibilities – who does what around the home, and how you’ve divided up daily life.

How you present yourselves to the world – what you tell family, friends, workmates. How you introduce each other. Whether you’re seen as a couple by those who know you.

The Court weighs all these factors together. What matters in your specific situation will depend on your unique circumstances.

What If We Haven’t Been Together Three Years?

Three years isn’t a magic line you can’t cross. In some situations, the Property (Relationships) Act applies even to shorter relationships.

This happens when you have a child together, or when one of you has made a substantial contribution to the relationship and when it would be seriously unjust not to recognise that contribution.

In these cases, property is divided based on what each person contributed, rather than equally down the middle.

How Can You Protect Your Interests?

If you’re in a de facto relationship, or thinking about moving in together, the clearest way to protect your property and define your rights is through a Contracting Out Agreement (sometimes called a “pre-nup,” though that term really applies to marriage).

These agreements, set out under Section 21 of the Act, let you and your partner decide for yourselves how you’ll handle property if you separate. They override the standard rules about equal sharing and contributions.

To be valid, each of you needs your own lawyer to provide independent advice. This protects both of you and ensures you each understand what you’re agreeing to.

What This Means for You

Knowing your legal position doesn’t mean you need to do anything differently. But it does mean you can make clearer decisions.

If you’re already in a relationship and didn’t realise these protections existed, you might feel reassured. If you’re moving in with someone and want to keep certain assets separate, now you know that’s an option worth exploring.

The point isn’t to assume the worst about your relationship. It’s about understanding your rights and making choices that work for both of you choices you make together, with clear eyes and good information.

If you have questions about your situation, or if you’d like to discuss a Contracting Out Agreement, we’re here to help you work through it. These conversations don’t need to be uncomfortable. We’ve guided many couples through exactly this process, and we can help you too.

The post What Are My Rights in My Relationship? appeared first on Corban Revell.

From 17 October 2025, new legislation will change that. The Family Proceedings (Dissolution of Marriage or Civil Union for Family Violence) Amendment Act 2024 now known as Ashley’s Law introduces a faster, safer way for victims of family violence to end a marriage or civil union.

We see this as a long-overdue and a deeply humane reform. Too often, we have supported clients who were ready to leave unsafe relationships but were forced to remain legally connected to their abusers. The two-year rule meant that even after securing a protection order, victims could not fully move on.

Ashley’s Law recognises that justice must also mean safety. 

It allows those with a final protection order known in law as a protected person under the Family Violence Act 2018 to apply for dissolution without first living apart for two years. The same applies to registered foreign protection orders and to orders issued under the Sentencing Act 2022. In short, once the court has acknowledged that violence occurred, the survivor does not have to wait to be free.

The law is named after Ashley Jones, whose experience revealed how existing processes could unintentionally re-victimise survivors. Despite having a protection order in place, Ms Jones faced years of delay because she was legally barred from contacting her former partner to serve court documents. Her determination to challenge that injustice led to bipartisan support for the amendment, a rare and encouraging moment of unity in Parliament, and a testament to the power of persistence.

Practically, Ashley’s Law means that dissolution can now proceed on the grounds of family violence alone. Once granted, it also enables the court to review post-nuptial property settlements under section 182 of the Family Proceedings Act 1980 to correct any unfairness caused by coercion or abuse. Other family law considerations including care of children and relationship property remain unchanged, and the one-year timeframe for property claims still applies.

For those affected, the change offers more than expedience; it offers dignity. It acknowledges that no one should be legally bound to the person who harmed them. It reflects a justice system willing to evolve in compassion and common sense.

This reform brings long-overdue relief to those seeking safety and closure. If you or someone you know needs guidance on how Ashley’s Law may apply, our family law team can provide clear, confidential advice every step of the way.

The post Ashley’s Law: A Safer Path Forward for Victims of Family Violence appeared first on Corban Revell.

While many people have heard of a Power of Attorney, few truly understand how an EPOA works, or how important it can be.

According to Corban Revell Senior Partner Lisa Roberts, having the right EPOA in place can make a difficult time a little less stressful for everyone involved.

“It’s not just something for older people,” Lisa says. “A car crash, a stroke, or an unexpected diagnosis can happen at any age. An Enduring Power of Attorney is really about protecting your future and making sure the right person can step in if needed.”

Who Can Make Decisions for You?

There are two main types of EPOA in New Zealand, one for property, and one for personal care and welfare.

A Property Attorney manages your financial and legal matters, like paying bills, managing investments, or selling your house if needed. You can set this up to take effect immediately or only if you become mentally incapable.

A Personal Care and Welfare Attorney, on the other hand, only kicks in if you’re no longer able to make decisions yourself. This person might decide where you live, what kind of care you receive, or whether you undergo certain medical treatments.

“You can’t just assume a family member can make those decisions for you,” Lisa explains. “Without a legal EPOA in place, your loved ones could find themselves stuck, especially when urgent choices need to be made.”

Choosing the Right Person

Deciding who will act on your behalf is an important decision. It’s not about picking the person closest to you, but the one best able to handle the responsibility.

“It’s got to be someone you trust completely,” Lisa says. “You’re giving them the keys to your life, essentially. They need to be calm under pressure, understand what matters to you, and be willing to act in your best interest, even when it’s hard.”

She’s seen cases where the wrong choice has led to family tension or poor decisions. “Sometimes, a person appoints someone out of obligation or emotion, and it doesn’t work out. It’s okay to make a practical choice.”

What Happens Without One?

If you lose mental capacity without a valid EPOA in place, things can get messy. Your loved ones may need to apply to the Family Court for the right to make decisions for you which is often a costly, stressful, and time-consuming process.

“People often think, ‘She’ll be right,’” Lisa says. “But it’s not just about you. It’s about the people who’ll have to pick up the pieces if something goes wrong. Having an EPOA in place can take a huge weight off your family’s shoulders.”

Plan Now, Protect Your Future

The good news is that setting up an Enduring Power of Attorney is relatively straightforward with the right legal advice. And once it’s done, you can get on with life knowing your wishes are protected.

“You don’t have to be unwell or elderly to put one in place,” Lisa says. “In fact, the best time to do it is when everything’s going well. It’s a bit like an insurance policy; you hope you’ll never need it, but you’ll be glad it’s there if you do.”

Need advice about Enduring Powers of Attorney?

Contact Lisa Roberts.

The post Power of Attorney: Who Steps In When You Can’t? appeared first on Corban Revell.

It is a big decision, and it’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed. Whether it’s been on your mind for months or has suddenly become a reality, knowing what to expect can make the process less daunting.

Ending a relationship—whether it’s a marriage, civil union, or de facto partnership—is more than just an emotional shift; it also comes with legal and financial considerations. But you don’t have to figure it out alone.

This guide breaks down what you need to know, from practical legal steps to emotional support, helping you move forward with clarity and confidence.

Step 1: Understanding Separation – What Does It Actually Mean?

Separation doesn’t just mean moving out. You can be legally “separated” even while still living under the same roof, as long as you’re leading separate lives, such as having separate finances, not sharing meals, and sleeping in different rooms.

Questions to ask yourself before making the decision:

• Am I emotionally and financially ready for this step?
• Have I considered what’s best for my children (if any)?
• Do I have a safe and stable place to go if I leave?

Separation is a process, and before making any big decisions, it’s important to know your rights and prepare for the road ahead.

Step 2: Do You Need a Formal Agreement?

If you and your ex share significant assets, including the family home, a formal separation agreement is required to protect both parties and provide legal certainty. While there’s no general legal obligation to have one, it’s often necessary for dividing property, sorting finances, and making arrangements for children.

Your options:

1. Informal Agreement: If things are amicable, you and your ex can work out the details together and put them in writing. However, if you are dealing with any assets of more than a modest value, you will need this agreement to be drawn up by a lawyer and for both parties to have their own independent legal advice.
2. Relationship Property Agreement: A legally binding document that sets out who gets what (property, debts, etc.).
3. The Family Court: If your ex is making things difficult, you can apply to the Family Court for orders relating to property and childcare issues.

Step 3: Splitting the Property – How Assets and Debts Are Divided

New Zealand law follows a 50/50 rule when dividing relationship property. This means:

• The family home is considered relationship property, regardless of whose name is on the title.
• Shared assets like vehicles, savings, and KiwiSaver contributions will usually be split equally.
• Relationship debts (such as loans and credit cards) will also be divided.

Exceptions to the 50/50 rule:

• If you’ve been together for less than three years, the division may not be equal.
• If one partner made a significantly greater financial contribution.
• If splitting things evenly would be extraordinarily unfair.

Before discussing who gets what, it helps to make a list of all shared assets and debts. This will make negotiations clearer and help avoid unnecessary conflict.

Step 4: What About the Children?

If you have children, their well-being is the priority. Separation can be challenging for them, and ensuring stability and consistency is key.

This means working out:

• Where they will live—will they stay with one parent or move between homes?
• Who makes decisions about schooling, medical care, and daily life?
• Child support obligations—both parents are expected to contribute financially.

If you and your ex can agree on arrangements, you can create a Parenting Plan that outlines custody, care arrangements, and decision-making responsibilities. If agreement isn’t possible, the Family Court can assist.

Living Arrangements and the Family Home

One of the biggest challenges during separation is deciding who stays in the family home, especially when children are involved.

• If one parent is the primary caregiver, it may be in the children’s best interests for them to remain in the family home to minimise disruption.
• If there’s disagreement, you may need to seek legal advice or apply for an Occupation Order through the Family Court. This order determines who can remain in the home while the separation is being resolved.
• If there are safety concerns, a Protection Order may also be necessary to ensure a safe living environment for you and your children.

Parenting Through Separation Course

The Ministry of Justice offers a free Parenting Through Separation course to help parents understand how to manage shared care, minimise conflict, and put their children’s needs first.

Even if you think you’re handling things well, this course provides valuable practical guidance on co-parenting after separation. It’s highly recommended for all separating parents.

To learn more or register, visit Parenting Through Separation.

Step 5: Managing Finances After Separation

Financial independence is often one of the biggest challenges after a breakup, especially for those who have been financially dependent on their partner. If you’ve been a stay-at-home parent or had a lower income during the relationship, the thought of managing finances alone can feel overwhelming. It’s completely normal to feel uncertain or even fearful about how you’ll support yourself and/or your children—but there are practical steps and support options available to help you regain financial stability.

The first steps to take include:

• Assessing your financial situation – Take stock of your income, expenses, savings, and any debts. If you don’t have full visibility over your finances, now is the time to gather information.
• Opening your own bank account – If you don’t already have one, setting up an account in your name ensures financial independence moving forward.
• Closing or adjusting joint accounts – This prevents unexpected withdrawals and ensures you have control over your funds. If necessary, change account settings so both signatures are required for withdrawals.
• Sorting out debts – Ensure you’re not held responsible for debts that aren’t yours. If possible, work out a plan with your ex to fairly divide joint liabilities.
• Updating insurance policies and wills – If your partner was listed as a beneficiary or policyholder, make necessary changes to protect your interests.
• Planning for housing and living costs – If staying in the family home isn’t an option, look into rental assistance, WINZ support or support from family while you establish a new living arrangement.

If finances are tight, support may be available through Work and Income New Zealand (WINZ). It’s worth checking what assistance you may be eligible for.

Step 6: Divorce (If You’re Married or in a Civil Union)

If you’re married or in a civil union, separation is just the first step. You can apply for a divorce (dissolution of marriage) after living apart for two years.

Exceptions: If you are leaving an abusive relationship, you may be able to apply for an immediate dissolution under special circumstances.

If your ex refuses to sign the divorce application, you can still apply for a divorce on your own.

Step 7: If You Are in a Family Violence Situation

If you or your children are experiencing family violence, your safety is the utmost priority. Family violence includes physical, sexual, emotional, and psychological abuse from a partner or family member.

Immediate Steps to Ensure Safety:

• If you are in immediate danger, call 111 and ask for the police. If speaking is unsafe, press 55 on a mobile to be connected to emergency services.
• Protection Orders can prevent an abusive person from contacting or harming you. These can be applied for through the Family Court.
• If you are unsure of your legal options, speak to a lawyer immediately.

Support Services Available:

• Women’s Refuge – 24/7 crisis support and safe housing (www.womensrefuge.org.nz)
• Shine – Domestic violence helpline and support (www.2shine.org.nz)
• Family Violence Information Line – Call 0800 456 450 for advice and support
• Oranga Tamariki – Ministry for Children – If you’re concerned about a child’s safety, call 0508 326 459 (0508 FAMILY)

Ensuring the safety and wellbeing of children is paramount. The Family Court can issue Care or Protection Orders to protect children from harm. Support services and counselling are available to help children cope and recover from family violence.

You are not alone. There are people and services ready to help you take the next step toward safety.

Moving Forward with Confidence

Separation is difficult, but it is also the first step toward a new chapter. By taking things step by step and getting the right support, you can navigate this transition with greater confidence.

You don’t need to have all the answers today. Just focus on the next step that is right for you.

If you need legal advice, Corban Revell is here to help. Our experienced and approachable team provides clear, practical legal guidance to help you through separation, divorce, and family violence matters.

For urgent assistance in family violence situations, contact one of our Family Law team immediately for advice and legal protection.

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